Ask Karl

In the latest Harper's Bazaar, we readers get the privilege to receive two pages of fashion advice from the Kaiser. He may call our questions childish and insult our figures, but we soak up his Karlisms anyways.

Here are his top 5 words of wisdom:

1. The body has to be impeccable [as well] - that helps a lot. If it's not, buy SMALL SIZES and LESS FOOD.

2. Buy only because something excites you, not just for the simple act of shopping. That's a little childish... There are more constructive and intelligent ways to spend your time.

3. Very high heels actually look better on tall girls [sidenote: oh, really?!], but men hate to walk around with giants who make them feel like midgets.

4. Looking like an S&M fanatic without being one is GROTESQUE... That can be very embaressing for others - and, when not followed by action, it's also kind of ridiculous.

[Well, obviously?!]

5. Better a split personality than no personality at all.